Lugene - Stories - The Baltimore Station, Inc.

"As a direct result of my using drugs, my wife had me evicted from my house in Baltimore County. I would take my money and not pay bills and not give her money. She got tired of me and had the Baltimore County police kick me out. I then had a decision to make – either to go to work or to get help. And I went to the VA (Veterans Administration) to get help and in turn the VA sent me to the South Baltimore Station because I was homeless and had a drug problem."

"My drug of choice was crack cocaine. I smoked cocaine for a period of about 12 years…to get high and feel better about a situation that was going on in my life at that time. The unmanageability part of [the drug habit] did not come into play in my life until I started using crack cocaine and became terribly addicted." When asked how much he spent on his drug habit each week, Taylor replied, "Between $700 - $1,200 per week, but towards the end it got to be anything I had."

"I have to tell you that through those twelve years, this is not my first recovery program. This is about my fourth. I've been to several others – Shepherd Pratt, Green Street (VA Hospital) and McVets. There was a time when I could pick and choose [the drug treatment program] because I had insurance money. Coming here was totally different. God truly blessed me to clear the path to get me here. The other programs I've been through emphasized the drugs, but here the emphasis is on the lifestyle. The real problem I have is the lifestyle – the way I was living made me use drugs. That's where I really have the problem, because I no longer desire drugs. But I desire my thinking and living to change."

In response to a question about what makes the Station different, Taylor quickly responds, "The Baltimore Station is attacking the root of the problem, not just the symptom. I'm still an addict, but I have to live and get better with my disease. I'm learning how to live with the drug problem. The shame and guilt got me in here and I get better with it. [Living in a therapeutic community] gives you a sense of a life-on-life situation because I'm going to have to interact with different personalities and influences. [The Counselors are] living the recovery program and are great examples. Someone who is giving you the information is also applying it in his life. I need to see some tangible things, not just the intangibles. See, unseen – I really want to touch it.

"If I could add one thing. Today The Baltimore Station is a sanctuary for me. I came here out of sheer desperation and from that my needs are being met here. I'm a complicated person, I truly am, but somehow I'm getting simplified here. I just want The Baltimore Station. I don't expound that everyday, I don't preach this, but South Baltimore Station saved my life. It's a miracle, it truly is. It works if you work it."

At the time of this conversation, Lugene Taylor had been a resident at the South Baltimore Station for 10 weeks.

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